Like Seriously, No Offence

I seriously have problems, The last couple of days have been good, pretty much great, in fact. I’ve been generally quite happy. Friendships, relationships, rivalries, I’ve been doing really well on all fronts. Hell, I even found out that I only lost one mark out of fifty in my Mathematical Methods SAC (applied calculus).

In spite of all that, I still, for some unknown reason, start to bring up some real heavy emotional baggage out of nowhere!!<(0_o”)>

I’ve managed to go from quite happy and relaxed, to venomous, angry, apathetic and callous. I mean what the hell is wrong with me. In truth though… I don’t really mind when I get like this, it’s kind of a rush, hell I almost kinda like it.

<(0_0)>!!!!

But seriously, what is wrong with me!? It’s like emotional sadomasochism!

Everyone’s heard of those guys that are totally into MMORPG’s. They played a demo of it, and next thing they know they’re downloading a bot to help them with grinding/farming some imaginary skill. I have some friends like that, they’ve always tried to get me to join them in playing. The problem is I just can’t get into video games like that, or any other hobby for that matter.

Whenever I grab a new game or try to start a new hobby, I usually get bored of them soon after I start them. Playing music, games, crafts, I usually get bored within the week. As much as I might try to enjoy whatever hobby I’m road testing, I just can’t seem to really get into it.

Usually the problem is that whatever it is I’m doing, at some point, it will get repetitive, and that is what gets me, imagine me having a 9-5 job doing the same thing everyday, I’d end up killing myself before my first payday.

************************************

On a side note, has anyone ever found that if you’re totally high and having fun one day, the next day you’ll be in a less-than-good mood for the whole day… Hell, maybe it’s just me and my introversion acting up again

************************************

And on an even-more-to-the-side note, I have no idea what this post’s title has to do with anything. it just seemed funny at the time, not so much anymore though…..

I suppose when you always around someone, or they’re always around you, you start getting comfortable enough around them that you can just be yourself. You no longer have to act the way you do around mere acquaintances. You become friends. Your conversations evolve from measly small talk into more intimate banter, but there has to be some line you shouldn’t cross when you talking to a guy no matter how close you become to him!

In five out of ten my study periods, each week, there are only six other people in my year level that have a free period at the same time as I do. Five people whom I can hang out with, one guy, one group of three girls and another group of two girls. So at the start of the year I’d had to kinda choose who I would hang out with during these periods.

The guy is a total wanker, so I don’t hang around him. The group of three girls, I can’t hold up a conversation with , so I don’t go with them either on these periods, unless really I feel like awkward moments…<(ô_o)> So I hung out with the other group of girls, one of who I already usually hang out with at lunch anyways.

Being that there are two girls and just me in the group, most of the stuff we talk about can easily be classified as girl talk. At the start of the year I would just nod and laugh every now and then as the two girls talk in whispers and code while I just sit there, feeling more than just a tiny bit awkward. Slowly I started to get more involved in the conversations and they started to talk about more candidly about personal stuff. A year and a half later, we’re pretty close. Not incredibly close but close enough nonetheless. We pretty much talk about anything now; family crap, their crushes, school gossip and more of the usual girl talk stuff.

I would like to remind whoever is reading this at this point that I am a guy (I kinda started to forget myself as I wrote this).

Usually things would be fine. but sometimes it seems like the girls are forgetting that I in fact have a penis. A month or so ago one of the girls was looking a bit under the weather and the following exchange took place.

<me> Hey, you arite?
<Grl1>Nah I’m fine
<me>Are you sure?
<Grl2>Yeah, are you late?

<(O_o)>what the hell does what time you’re coming to school have anything to do with how she feels?<(o_O)>

<Grl1>Nah I just did last week.

<(O_o)>what happened last week<(o_O)>

<Grl2>But last month..didn’t hear the next bit

The second I heard the word month, it dawned on me. On the outside it looked like I was just reading what I’d been reading previously, but on the inside, my brain was firing off red alerts. I was freaking out!

I mean WT freaking F!!

A while back I wrote about how I compulsively pick out frayed bits of string or icky specks of dust, well I have a few more OCD issues up my sleeve. Most would know about how people with clinically diagnosed OCD tend to stick to a routine and be really fickle when it comes to those little details, well I’m kinda like that to.

Whenever I go to use a public toilet that I frequent (is it just me or did that sound like a reference to cruising?), like at school, I usually use the same stall all the time i.e. at school, I always use the 3^rd from the right. Most people who do this do this out of convenience, if they can’t use the stall they usually do, they don’t care. If I don’t get to use the stall I usually do, it feels kinda weird…

• Another thing I’m picky about is cutlery. I am very fickle about my cutlery. I really, really don’t like using;
• cutlery that is bent the wrong way, usually happens when a spoon is bent then someone tries to bend it back
• crooked cutlery
• cutlery with engravings
• non-symmetrical cutlery, usually the handle
• cutlery with sharp edges in the handle
• and finally, metallic sporks, I hate metalic sporks.

but other than those I’m usually fine…

…

<(o_ô)>

And one more thing, I never, ever, ever touch my lips onto cutlery unless necessary, and even if I do, I use the outside of my lip, not the inside. Ever.

Ok so It’s been like 22 days since I last posted, that’s like almost a month, I’d say I was busy studying for exams, but that would be a lie…

I’ve just been lazy, and its not like I had anything really interesting to say, I’ve been really numb lately.

Wait no… I haven’t been numb, just kinda pissed off lately, everyone else has something going on in their lives right now while mine’s just been the boring old usual stuff. The people around me been involved love-triangles, family feuds, huge concerts, drug smuggling schemes, intriguing TV shows and even a near death experience in the last couple of months, and the most exciting thing to happen to me was making the perfect omelette.

Maybe more interesting stuff would happen to me if I were more outgoing. God i’m so self concious all the time…

The weirdest bit is that I’m kinda jealous of webcomic characters, namely the characters of Questionable Content, their life seems to be so full of stuff happening, sure it might not be the most comfortable life around, but I’ve lived the comfortable life, and it sucks. I am so dying to hit rock bottom.

On a side note, I kinda miss Drake, Friday nights aren’t the same without him. It’s weird not hearing some obscure metal reference for more than a week, its like if I miss an episode of Doctor Who, it just doesn’t feel right.

And for those people who have been asking my what secrets I keep, it’s one of these;

I’m a drug runner.

I secretly wish to be a muzza.

I’m a pyromaniac.

I’m a closet gay.

I’m a closet bi.

I’m a closet straight.

So I got a couple of new playlists up…

yeah…

that’s it…

I wonder what people think of my taste in music…