I’m Jacking…?
I was updating my playlists page today, and I was kind of amazed at the range of music I listen to. No wonder I get confused when someone asks me what kind of music I listen to, I have a track from the 70’s, I’ve had a few from the 50’s a couple of times, I’ve got “emo-and-screamo, rap, funk, latin and even pop. Even though I listen to all these genre’s i don’t exactly delve very deeply into any of their respectively associated sub-cultures.
I guess it’s kind of a reflection on my interests and knowledge as well. I am a jack of all trades, master of none. I go and try out stuff, get good enough at it or into it just enough so that I’m better or more knowledgeable at it than the average joe then i move on to the next thing. That is, if the thing interests me, if not then I wouldn’t likely bother at all.
I guess one theory of why I do this is because I have quite a short attention span when it comes to hobbies and such. I get bored of things really quickly, and as a result I never stick around long enough to really get into it. I mean, for example, a few weeks ago I pulled out my old keyboard(piano) and started playing it. I learnt a couple of songs pretty good. Then I got bored of that in another half hour. I started playing WoW, I reached level 23, then got bored. It was a waste of $30. maybe i just need a really great game or something to keep my mind occupied…
My other theory is that I am in the middle of one of the longest running identity crises ever. In primary school I was the smart kid my grades defined me. Not that I had to try hard or anything, but it was who I was as a person, not exactly healthy but I’m over it so don’t worry. Sometime in year 7 I decided that I didn’t really care any more about my grades and it no longer defined me as a person. I had realised that good grades didn’t mean anything in this material world, it wasn’t like I was getting anything in return for my work, other than a piece of paper that would just get filed away at the back of my wardrobe.
So then I had nothing to define myself as, sure I was still smart, but I didn’t care any more. I guess I must be jumping from one thing to another until I find something that I’m comfortable enough with to stick with it and maybe that could be who I am.
All my friends have a kind of label that they have made for themselves, Fariz, the Muslim goth, Nubhan, the budding artist, Willy, the up and coming musician, Noah, the avid gamer/shuffler, and a whole lot more. Some people think that giving yourself a label or mould to fit into is a bad thing, I agree, but what I’m looking for is a frame so that I may grow around, through and eventually beyond it.
But alas, for now I am still but a jack of all trades, master of none.
